Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Closure...

Today my friend Alva and I went into town. Not on a shopping trip or for coffee or to go swimming. I had to go to the Citizens Advice Bureau. For about forever I have tried, in vain, to get my head around my divorce paperwork. I had not consulted a solicitor as, although I am entitled to legal aid, I figured I could fill these forms out myself and send them off...
Job done. 

But nooooo...

For five years now I have been separated from my ex-husband, father of my children, and it has taken me this long to get these papers filled out, in order and signed or "Sworn"...

 Today was that day...

The CAB were of no real help as they could only tell me what I already knew and the reality was, I needed to see a solicitor. I have had my head in the sand over this paperwork for all that time. It has hung over me, taunting me, niggling in the back of my mind that I am still married to my ex-husband and 
it is still not over...

I need closure, married life was meant to be forever but now, for me, I am done with it....

Alva and I headed over to a solicitors office in town, 
I had no idea where it was, I have never had to use solicitor before. Luckily for me, Alva is a mind of information. She is also not afraid to ask questions and will keep asking and get all the answers she needs until she is satisfied. She is my cavalry.

We walked into the offices and I said to Alva, 
"I don't know quite what to ask". Alva asked the receptionist if there was anyone available that we could see with regards to the divorce paperwork, it had been filled out and I needed it checked and sworn. Alva asked if we could make an appointment.

At that moment a solicitor who works there walked in carrying a large bundle of files and began to make his way up the stairs. The receptionist called to him and asked if he could advise us. 

On the receptionists desk he pulled out the paperwork and looked through it, he said he did not usually do divorce petitions. I said, if it was convenient, could we see someone to help me sort it through, said that I had probably filled some of it out all wrong and I don't know what to do with it now. 

He looked through it, got me to fill in the previous addresses for the ex. I only put three as the eight he has stayed at would not fit on the form. I wanted it to be straight forward and gave the addresses he has been registered at. The man said "Say after me, I do solemnly swear by Almighty God that the statement I have given is correct and true, the writing on these forms are mine and it is signed by me." or words to that effect. I thought, right, start again...
" I do solemnly..." 
He said "Just say yes..." 
I said "yes..." 

He signed it, I signed it, he wrote a note for the court to explain who he was. He photocopied it, he told me,"send this and this and this to the court, (he stapled it together) you should hear from them if they need you to do anything else. Otherwise that is it, you should get your Decree Nisi in about six weeks." 

I/we thanked him profusely, said how grateful I/we were and this is such a weight lifted off of my shoulders. He said "that will be £10 please." 
Between Alva and I we had less that six pound. 
I apologised profusely and said I would run (walk quickly) to the ATM and come straight back. 

He was cool with that.. 

Alva waited in the reception area as my security deposit...

I paid, we left, then we had coffee.....

The divorce itself is pretty straight forward. Undefended, no savings, no assets, 
no custody battle. 

Alva has typed and printed for me a covering letter and we will send everything off recorded delivery tomorrow morning. 
Job done.... 

Well... nearly... 
There will be the Decree Absolute but I think I will be able to handle that (with Alvas help)

Next, when that is done, I will change my name back to my maiden name. Get him to relinquish his rights on the tenancy agreement, which is very straight forward. I have already spoken to my tenancy officer. Write a Will and make arrangements for what will happen to the children if I pop off. Whereupon Charlotte will be given legal guardianship if she is over 18, which means I must not die in the next eight months...

And then my biggest challenge yet.....
join Slimming World...









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